The Slick Chickz meet FF7
by Treinta de Enero
Summary: X-ray vision, materia, and cows oh my! and find out just what's up with Tseng in this compilation of crossover scenes. R&R and enjoy. loves to yall al mucho extremo! [Updated]
1. Jadey's Surprise

Jadey's Surprise

by: Trienta de Enero

Labriah: hey guys what's up?

Kittie G: not much here you?

Kitty K: what you talkin'! There's the sky, and birds, and a cloud and spiders!

Devil Rei: spiders??

Jadey: yeah! Spiders! Hey there's the sun. oooh……. aaaaaah…. AAAAHHH!!!

Labriah: what?

Jadey: I'm blind! I'm blind!

Devil Rei: haha Jadey!

Kittie G: Jadey?

Jadey: yes?

Kitty K: OPEN YOUR EYES!!!

Jadey: oh. Ah much better…….AAAAHHH!!!

Labriah: what now?

Jadey: dude! Sweet! I have X-ray vision!

Devil Rei: haha Jadey!

Kitty K: doesn't that mean that you can see through stuff like walls and ceilings and clothing?

Jadey: yep! (closes eyes) and eyelids too!

Everyone: (gasp)!!!

Devil Rei: haha Jadey! Oh wait! How does Vincent look under all those sexy black silky clothes? Oooh how'd I'd love to feel his tight abs and chest and drag my fingers down his long smooth back and then undo that lovely metal belt of his and feel the cold of his gold claw……( mumbles off incomprehensibly in her VERY VERY happy of a day dream though was shortly snapped out of it by Jadey's next comment)

Jadey: (blushing a hue to match Vincent's dreamy eyes…(narrator goes off into her own little daydream)) heh. Heh. Yeah… about that… I uh- I kinda knew before I had X-ray vision. Heh heh?? (runs away as Devil Rei starts to pull out a huge 6 foot butcher's knife)

Kittie G: Look here comes Giz! Hey Jadey, how does he look?

Jadey: (blood hurtling scream)

Labriah: that didn't sound very good

Jadey: I'm blinded! I'm blinded! I'm scarred for life! My innocence has been taken from me!!

Giz: weirdoes…

fin

---Author's Note: that was… ah, interesting. Hehe. I just had a sudden spasmodic spasm of thought to be var var cruel to Jadey. Giz was one of my middle school teachers. He is gorgy but a little creepy. This is the beginning of a series of many little rants yet to come. MWUAHAHAHA!!! Loves to yall—al mucho extremo!! Hasta Luego mis amigos muy comicos

Disclaimer: Square own everything related to Final Fantasy VII mentioned here. The rest is made from the originality of my oversized brain.

:JadeyA, KittieG, KittyK, DevilRei, and Labriah and copyright of SC5ink. Which means they belong to us (laughs insanely) personal ownership- JadeyA: JessieN; KittyK: KarlaK; Devil Rei: Kristal W; Labriah: HollyB; KittieG: me(DaniB)


	2. Manipulation

Manipulation

by: Trienta de Enero

Labriah: hey guys what's up?

Kittie G: not much here you?

Kitty K: why does Labriah get to start?

Jadey: maybe because…. (silence)… I dunno. (shrugs)

Labriah: why don't you just start?

Everyone: yea.

Kitty K: okay… hey guys what's up? …(silence)…

Kittie G: it don't have the same impact.

Kitty K: wah! …(silence)…

Labriah: hey where's Devil Rei?

Devil Rei: (enters scene with Rufus following and drooling) what'd I miss?

Kittie G: your line.

Devil Rei: oh… haha Jadey!

Jadey: hey it wasn't me this time!

Devil Rei: (shrugs) not my line then.

Jadey: (pout)

Devil Rei: haha Jadey!

Jadey: dude why is Rufus acting weird?

Devil Rei: (holds up little sphere of materia) because of this.

Rest of SC5 Group: (eyes wide) manipulate.

Kittie G: dude! Sweet!

Kitty K: can I use it?

Kittie G: no. me!

Labriah: me! Me! Me!

Jadey: I'll do your homework for a week!…(silence) a month!…(silence) the whole year!

Devil Rei: okay, here you go Jadey!

Jadey: who should I do?

Devil Rei: Cloud!

Kitty K: Vincent!

Kittie G: Cid! No. Reno! No. Barret! No, wait. Heh heh. Rufus. (evil grin)

Devil Rei: grrrr!

Labriah: Red! Red! Red! Red!

Jadey: ummm…uhh…umm… oh I know! (eyes narrow in concentration)…(silent anticipation)… hey nothing happened! (pout)

Devil Rei: haha Jadey!

Kitty K: my turn! (snatches materia from Jadey and concentrates) (Vincent comes strolling along, walking up to Kitty K.)

Vincent: damn… you're hot. (background fades and the group finds themselves in the coffin room where…erm "noises" are heard from Vincent's coffin)

Devil Rei: (starts to pull out her butcher's knife) I must hunt down Kitty K! (starts walking toward coffin)

Jadey: ew. Bad Kitty K!

Kitty K: what?

Jadey: ah! Where'd you come from!

Kitty K: um… here?

Kittie G: (shudders) ew. Gross Vincent… okay my turn. (grabs materia after a great struggle between her and Kitty K) ( concentrates long on materia)

Devil Rei: Rufus is off limits!

Kittie G: damnit! (finds concentration again) (setting changes to that in front of the door of the Secretary of Urban Development's office)

Kitty K: hey where's Kittie G?

Devil Rei: in the office with Reeve. Even I'm not that dumb! Okay, Labriah's turn. Here ya go L.

Labriah: ….

Kitty K: Labriah?

Labriah: (eye twitches) whoa Jadey, you're hot.

fin

Author's little happy place- MWUAHAHAHA!!! Cows rule the world. No matter what Jess and Kris say about bunnies and hamsters cows still will rule! Hehe. I should write my English essay about cows. BIG HAPPY!! LoL. Holly will agree with me about the cow thing too. And which ever animal rules Karla's world (even if it is her bf) we will leave to her discretion. But when I find out it will be then in the hands of the Slick Chickz 5 fan club public. Mwuahaha! So run Karla. but don't hide cuz I won't be able to find you. Well hope you enjoyed this because I am onto the 3rd in this series- A Thing for Cows. Love to yalls to the extreme major and come back and see me because I love you all – really. Er- hypothetically. But it's all good!

Disclaimer: Square own everything related to Final Fantasy VII mentioned here. The rest is made from the originality of my oversized brain.

:JadeyA, KittieG, KittyK, DevilRei, and Labriah and copyright of SC5ink. Which means they belong to us (laughs insanely) personal ownership- JadeyA: JessieN; KittyK: KarlaK; Devil Rei: Kristal W; Labriah: HollyB; KittieG: me(DaniB)


	3. A Thing For Cows

A Thing For Cows

by: Trienta de Enero

Labriah: hey guys what's up?

Kittie G: nuttin' much here. You?

Jadey: yay!

Devil Rei: what?

Jadey: the turks! The turks!

Kitty K: ooh! Yay! … What 'bout the turk?

Jadey: they're here! They're here! (hops around gleefully)(smacks into Rude)

Rude: (raised eyebrow) …

Elena: oh my…(rolls eyes)

Reno: what the…? My nightstick!

Kitty K: heh…heh…(whistles innocently)

Elena: get over it Reno, you have another.

Devil Rei: I'm more interested in that one anyways.(BIG wink at Reno)

Labriah: Tseng, you look like a cow. (KittieG is rolling on the floor laughing her ass off.)

Elena: Tseng does not!! (conks Labriah on the head)

Jadey: don't hurt Labriah! (goes to punch Elena in the stomach but Elena ducks and was hit somewhere else)(Elena's boob deflates)

SHOCKED SILENCE

Elena: WAH! I'm ruined! (runs out of scene crying)

Devil Rei: jeez Jadey, if ya wanted to know if she was real or not I coulda told ya.

Jadey: (major shock) …

Kittie G: Rude?

Rude: (stony silence)…

Kittie G: you're tall. Reno?

Reno: yeah babe?

Kittie G: you're not so tall. Tseng?

Tseng: (mumbling) I look like a cow.

Kittie G: cows are CUUUUUUUUTE!!

Tseng: (thinking) …ah.

Kittie G and Labriah: (big smiles)

Tseng: uh…

Jadey: (comes out of shock and attacks Tseng) you stole Labriah!! (bites Tseng)

(Rufus strolls along into the scene. He sees Jadey attacking Tseng)

Kittie G: Rufus?

Rufus: NOOO!! (shoots Jadey with his shotgun)

Kittie G:…nevermind!

Rufus: (evil glare in eyes) what were you gonna say.

Kittie G: umm…that, uh, Tseng is hot-erm-no! Tseng has a thing for cows!

Labriah: what? (confuzzled expression)

Kittie G: (talking slowly) it means Tseng has a THING for cows

Labriah: NOOOOO!!! (releases Ultimate Limit Break which a puts purple protective barrier shield orb around every cow on the planet)

(Then the astronauts looking at the planet see and odd purple glow appear and go mad and berserk and launch a nuclear bomb at the planet and it blows up which warps the galaxy causing it the implode and collapse on itself ending all life in that galaxy)

some parallel universe

G IettiK: it means he has a THING for-

IeR LiveD: look. What're those purple orbs floating in the distance?

Y EdaJ: ooooh…aaaah…

K YttiK: shiny…

GnesT: are those…cows?

HaribaL: cows!…(grr)my cows!

OneR: Damnit! K YttiK still has my nightstick(shrugs and pulls out tequila)

EduR: (stony silence)…

AnelE: (sniffle) my boob.

SufuR: Mwuahaha!! (shoots everyone dead)

fin

Author's note: hehe I've got a messed up imagination, eh? Coming soon to a fanfiction site near you: "XYZ(and Tseng's)PDQ". Oh yeah I'd like ta send out an extra special thanks to Jessie, Holly, Karla, and Kristal for putting up with my creept work and evilnessupon everyone's characters ¡muchos gracias al mucho extremo! and loves to allof yall whoare reading this! much appreciation!

Diclaimer: the only thing Square owns here is Rufus, his shotgun and the turks. Oh yeah and Reno's nightstick. Heh K.K'll get that back ta ya soon. Hehe

:JadeyA, KittieG, KittyK, DevilRei, and Labriah and copyright of SC5ink. Which means they belong to us (laughs insanely) personal ownership- JadeyA: JessieN; KittyK: KarlaK; Devil Rei: Kristal W; Labriah: HollyB; KittieG: me(DaB)


	4. XYZand Tseng'sPDQ

XYZ(and Tseng's)PDQ

by: Trienta de Enero

Labriah: hey guys what's up?

Kittie G: Charazard!

Rest of Slick Chickz: what? (looks up) oh.

Kitty K: does that mean Ash is here?

Jadey: and Pikachu?

Kittie: and Brock!

Devil Rei: hi Brock!

Brock: hey cuties.

Ash: hey guys what's up?

Slick Chickz: oh my god did he just- oh I think he- to a total exactness major- he must of- he just used Labriah's line!!

Ash: what? No way! That was my line way before it was yours.

Labriah: I don't think so…kid. (everyone takes a step back from Labriah)

Misty: (her annoy always start a sentence giggle) he is, isn't he.

Ash: grrr… I choose you, Pikachu!

Slick Chickz: (laughing their asses off)

Devil Rei: how unexpected! (rolls her eyes)

Pikachu: pi- ka- CCCHHHUUUUUUUU!!!!! (zaps Devil Rei)

Devil Rei: oh you did NOT just do that! (releases Agua summon)(Pikachu twitches almost dead)

Jadey: oh my god! You killed Pikachu! (sees Inu-yasha in background) YAY!(runs after Inu-Yasha)

Labriah: that was harsh.

Devil Rei: haha Pikachu!

Kittie G: haha Devil Rei!

Devil Rei: what? (Kittie G points to Rufus and Tseng making out under a romantic red sunset)

Devil Rei: grrr! (heals Pikachu) now you listen to me. You're going to go over there and beat up Tseng while I steal Rufu- (ZAAAAP) You little shit! I'm gonna kick your ass! (chases Pikachu all around)

Kitty K: (talking to Rufus and Tseng) she's loco today.

Rufus: yeah. I can't believe she likes me!

Kitty K: not as creepy as Kittie G though! She likes Tseng!

Tseng:……oh. (Kittie G comes ambling along. She sees Tseng and her jaw drops and she blushes)

Kitty K: I told you.

Kittie G: (recovering quickly) told who what?

Rufus! You can't have him! He's mine!

Kittie G: but I thought-

Rufus: NEVER!

Jadey: (comes back dragging a hog-tied Inu-Yasha) shut up Rufus.

Rufus: she can't have him! (clings to Tseng's leg)(Tseng gives Rufus the raised eyebrow look)

Jadey: chill. Calm down. Now, who can't have who?

Rufus: (points at a clueless Kittie G) she can't have him! She likes him but she can't have him! He's MINE!!

Jadey: Kittie G can't have Tseng?

Kittie: what? Who said?

Tseng: I am very sorry Kittie G

Kittie G: huh? Why?

Tseng: I do not reciprocate your feelings toward me.

Kittie G: I think I'm gonna hurl!

Labriah: (strolling in and sees Tseng) (gasps) Elena!

Elena: yes?

Labriah: ya know how you like your boss-

Tseng: (raised eyebrow look)

Elena: do not!

Labriah: well look! (points at Tseng)

Elena: (blushing furiously)

Tseng: what?

Labriah: what was that one saying… um. Oh yeah! XYZPDQ!

Ash: huh?

Misty and Kittie G: (wiping their wet eyes from laughing so hard)

Reno: (pops out of nowhere) airin' out , eh boss?

Devil Rei: (stomping back grumily handcuffed to Pikachu) we are forced to be under terms of agreement… because of him! (points out a stoic Rude)

Rude: sir?

Tseng: what is up with all of you people today? what's wrong with me?

Kittie G: (coughs) everything. (is smacked by Elena)

Devil Rei: (eyes widen) damn Tseng, I didn't know you were so…strung…oh by the way XYZPDQ

Tseng: what does that mean?

Everyone: Xamine Your Zipper Pretty Damn Quick!

Tseng: (looks down) (eyes narrow)…Rufus.

(ZAAAAAP)

(Everyone looks to see a charred Rufus, a dazed Pikachu and a Kitty K trying to look innocent)

Kitty K: (whistling)

Rude: (mumbles something to Reno)

Reno: I agree totally man (walks up to Kitty K and digs in the front of her shirt. He pulls a manipulate out of her bra.) knew something didn't look right.

(Avalanche walks into the scene)

Yuffie: heya everybody! 'cept you Reno! Blah!

Kitty K: that isn't very nice. (whacks Yuffie on the head) (Vincent gives Kitty K one of his oh so sexy pissed off to a major glare)(Kitty K falls over dead from schock)

Jadey: dude! Are we done with this chapter yet? Its already 667 words long! And it isn't even interesting yet!

Kitty K: (revived) Jadey! You're so pessimistic! Off with your head! (Jadey's head gets cut off)

Devil Rei: hehe. Now it's interesting!

Jadey: (resurrected) there's no point!

Devil Rei: I'm releasing Berzerk Cow now, Jadey.

Labriah: Noo! Why can't I have the Cow materia!

Yuffie: materia?

(Simultaneously Devil Rei releases the Berzerk Cow summon and Labriah launchs her limit break that puts a purple barrier around the cows. So cows in purple bubbles come and roll over Jadey dead)

Kittie G: you know if you keep killing Jadey she'll just start coming back with her ghost to haunt you.

Rude: we should bury her. (everyone stands in awe at the longest sentence Rude's every said in this fic)

Rude: now. (everyone one scrambles for shovels and other supplies.)

After Jadey's burial

Kittie G: (bawling her eyes out) she was my very bestest friend! (continues to cry)

Devil Rei: you can shut up now. We're done.

Kittie G: well we needed it to sound real. Hey, do you think she'll be able to get out and haunt us?

Devil Rei: nah. The boulder on top will be good. (they walk away)

(A hand reaches out of the ground… To be continued…well not really with this scene but it gives it a dramatic sense)

fin

A/N: Buena! How are my fine viewers doing this wonderful day? or night? I hope my work puts a smile on your faces. Hehe. Oh, how I love winter. It's snowing heartily here in Minnesota. (big happy sigh) do any of you know how to quiet a baby chicken(besides ringing its neck)? Right now it is squawking away. Poor thing. I have become attached to it. oh well. Ooers- My dearest friend Holly has a birthday coming up! She'll be a 16 of sweetness! I think. My loves to her al mucho extremo and my loves to all of yall out there reading this. Chao!

Disclaimer: Square own everything related to Final Fantasy VII mentioned here. The rest is made from the originality of my oversized brain.

:JadeyA, KittieG, KittyK, DevilRei, and Labriah and copyright of SC5ink. Which means they belong to us (laughs insanely) personal ownership- JadeyA: JessieN; KittyK: KarlaK; Devil Rei: Kristal W; Labriah: HollyB; KittieG: me(DaniB)


End file.
